Like I said. No natural cleaning stuff made this list! It just didn’t. I do think natural products have value. I use vinegar and baking soda for a lot of things, for example. But I am not putting them on the list today. Today’s list is straight up not “natural”. I don’t even care. It cleans so well. It makes my heart happy. So here are my favorite cleaners and best tips!! Happy cleaning!! Or something…
No. Not the song. But you can totally sing the song. That’s how happy you will be when you use this stuff…on practically everything. I swear it. I first used it when my son was 18 months old. We had just moved into a 100+ year old cabin that had slowly been “built up” over the years that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in that long. Oh my gosh…dark days. Very dark days. I could hear mice in the walls and floors. I need to stop before I start to cry from the flashbacks. Anyway. My sister (the other homeschooler) brought me the stuff to clean the grodiest fridge I had seen in my short married life. Because I started to cry to her on the phone. I used the whole bottle. On the freezer. It was…well…the freezer was white again. So then I went back to the store and bought 3 more bottles. they were $1.68 then. I used that stuff on the refrigerator, the oven, the stove, the cupboards, the floors, the sinks, the shower, the tub, the toilet (oh dear, I’m flashing back!!), the doors…I went through so many bottles of this stuff. It became my best friend. My hitman even. I used it on the boxelder bugs that kept climbing into my living room through my single pane windows all summer long because I just wanted them to DIE! (Hey man. They didn’t pay rent. And guess what…they stopped coming in.) Anyway. After I moved out of the place, I didn’t see any Greased Lightning in my new city. Well, I stopped looking after a while. I figured like all good relationships, the time had come to part ways. I let it go, and I made the best out of what I had. Which was just mediocre crap. (This strangely resembles my relationships with people…but that’s for another line of thinking…) Anyway. I was at the store looking for a miracle to fight the demons of hell (management) this week, when what did I spy with my little eye…there, on the bottom shelf? Could it be? Why yes, it was!! GREASED LIGHTNING!! BOOM, BABY!!! And just guess how much it has gone up in price! Guess!! While the bread we buy has literally gone up in price $2.50 in the last 2 years, guess!! This stuff…this miracle liquid is only $1.98!!!! Doesn’t that just soothe your heart?! Sometimes I love the world…not really. Sometimes I love cleaning supplies. 🙂 So this week we used this to clean our grout, our tile, our oven, our stove, our doors, our toilets, our showers, our shower heads…anything and everything. Hey, if something didn’t come off, we sprayed the rag with Grease Lightning, and BOOM! Done. Just…so much love. My husband has never shared my love of cleaning or cleaning supplies. But guess what…he loves this stuff. He ended up stealing the bottle from me. I had to buy a second one just to have my own. Mr. Fantastic is naughty. 😉 It got stuff off the garage floor and everything. I just…I love this stuff. So inexpensive. So effective. It’s like…it’s like me…in a bottle. HAHAHAHA! So you should buy it. Oh, but if your hands are sensitive, use gloves.
Speaking of gloves, I never used to use them. I talked myself out of them for years. They never fit anyway. They were way too big, and they got in the way of a good cleaning job. I hated them. But as I mentioned earlier, I honestly was sobbing inside of myself while I cleaned. It just got worse over the years. Even cleaning my own home. Then I got married. Let me say a word here about marriage. You know you love your husband, I mean…you really know you love him when you are cleaning the bathroom toilet and you see “stuff” that didn’t come from you…and you clean it anyway. Or when you are in the shower and find one of his hairs on your soap…and you daintily pull it off and shake your hands off in the running water. And these things happen, and you go on about your married life without murdering him or leaving him. You know you love your husband this way.😂😂 (I’m sure it’s the same for guys, but guess what…I’m not one…so whatever. Blah.) Anyway. Back to the gloves. This week, I just went for it. I noticed this week that they now have gloves that come in sizes. SIZES! How revolutionary. *dripping sarcasm* I could have used sizes 20 years ago guys. Anyway. I got the small gloves…which only come in purple. (Why??? Why not black with skulls wearing a bow? How cute would that be?! Let’s get on that.) Anyway. LIFE. CHANGING. I feel like I have suddenly joined a higher way of living. Like before I was living like an animal, like homo erectus. And now, I was suddenly adopted into a society with the likes of Steve Jobs and his ilk. That’s what cleaning gloves has done for me. For real. I’m a whole new cleaner. I’m unstoppable! I don’t even gag anymore!! There’s still a little internal whimper when I see something gross (like a hair in the shower), but it doesn’t even stop me! I just go for it! NO hesitation. So seriously. Go get yourselves some gloves. Join me on this higher plain. Come. All are welcome.
OK. We have crap water here. Not literally. That would be gross…and probably illegal. At least, I hope it would be illegal. Anyway. It turns my whites grey over time. GREY! I weep over my whites! WEEP!!! I have tried countless products and detergents!! They all promise to help me. Lies. All LIES! I hate them all. And I’m not buying a water softener for a rental place. (insert expletives here!) Anyway. I just want my whites to be white! I just want my stuff clean! So…anyway. I got this stuff to get some rust stains off the showers (which I didn’t end up needing because GREASED LIGHTING!!). Anyway. I saw on the back that you can use it for your whites as well. So I tried it. And people of the internet…I am no speaker of falsehoods…miracles happened. My children’s socks came out looking like they were fresh from the package. Whites that had been greying for a while were less grey. My shirts were super white again. So I’ve used it on several loads of whites since then. This stuff just keeps getting whiter and whiter and whiter!! I feel like singing, “Heaven! I’m in heaven!” It’s an honest to goodness cleansing. I’m tempted to try it on other clothes…but a little worried about the colors because there is actually a warning about that on the bottle. Yikes. HAHAHA! Anyway. If you have crap water like I do, try this stuff. It’s just amazing. I love it. White laundry that turns out white? It makes that anxious puzzle piece in my soul settle!!
Now. Let me explain. This stuff is here because I use it and give it to my kids to use daily. Why? Because it shines and sanitizes. It makes it easy for them to do daily touch ups, daily cleanings, daily maintenance. I just want things done daily so that nothing is grody. Then on Saturdays we get down to the nitty gritty. (Right, Nacho? 😉 ) Anyway. It’s also not a lot of money. It’s just a nice and effective daily cleaner. 🙂 Makes things shiny. I like shiny things. Like chrome. On cars. 🙂 Confess. You like things to shine too…like Chrysler buildings. HAHAHA! We all have a little bit of Miss Hannigan in us. 😉
Pop Out Your Window
Windows and window tracks are of the devil. People always think you have to clean them with a knife or q-tip or something. And cleaning the outside of the window you have to take the screen off! Oh no, my friends. Oh no. Did you know you can just take that window out and clean it in your house? Oh yes. Yes you can. Mr. Fantastic taught me this trick. I’ll show you in this video. You can all covet my husband now. Just kidding. Don’t even try it. He’s my Mr. Fantastic. I will cut you. 🙂
Dollar Store Mop
Dollar store stuff is exactly a dollar. That makes it cheap. And guess what that means? It means you can be happy when you scrub your walls. What? What’s that? I know. You don’t believe me. Trust me. Using the sponge mop from the dollar store to wash your walls will change your life in deep and meaningful ways. Seriously. If you find yourself down on your knees weeping from gratitude, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Life is better with cheap stuff. Sort of…don’t get cheap lipstick…or cheap chocolate. Bad ideas. And just think. You can toss this in the trash when you’re done…because it was a dollar. HA!
That’s it, folks. Those are the tips I felt needed to be passed on the most. You will never hear me say I am the Queen of Clean. That belongs to my mother. When she is gone, it will pass to my twin sister. I don’t want the title. I’ll never fight for it. But these tips…these things save my life and my sanity and my home. If they help you, that would be awesome.
Take It, and Be Thankful